I usually find myself being unknown. The things I do or the things I say don't seem to matter to anyone at all. Sometimes, I'm not even sure if my family listens to me. Most of the people I know around me are so used to getting heard or attention with every move they make. When asked, they're not even trying!!
It's not that I struggle with absolute desperation to be heard or to be seen. But there are times when I just want to be heard. I'm just human, after all. And human needs attention. I'm not greedy about it though. And I'm speaking about attention and NOT popularity!
I came up with the conclusion that God made us this way. A perfect balance between popularity and anonymity. There are some people who gets under the limelight, basically everytime they do or say something. And there are people who gets under the shadows of these people or are just not in the limelight at all whenever he/she says something or does something. Namely me. Well, to be honest, I think I'm more of an introvert kind of person.
I'm usually seen talking to myself or mumbling under my breath in a party or function that includes alot of people. I came upon the word introvert when I was reading some magazine which I can't remember off now. It struck me that I wasn't the loud and obnoxious one but instead, the quiet one who could just easily float (above the ground) by a crowd of a million people and would just be unseen. It's like I'm invisible. Like a spec of dust that noone will notice until the sun rays strike on it. And I'm never the first one to be invited to a party or known as the livewire of every party.
My actions or words could only get through if someone was to shed their light off me. For instance, if Mariah Carey stopped by my blog right now and left a comment on one of my posts, thousands of people would be flocking by my blog right away. I guess that's what you call advertisement. I mean, if it was Mariah Carey, it would be totally out of this world. But I can't give any real-life-experience examples or else it might just turn out to be offensive to somebody. I had my fair share of experiencing anonymity so far. Would I relate it to being ingored?? I'm not sure myself. From a wild aspect, I guess I can say I'm being ignored.
After what I've said, I'm totally comfortable with the way I am now. As much as this may seem like a desperate post to attract attention or sympathy, it isn't. The thought of it had been swimming in my mind for the past couple of days and I could only get it off my mind through this, as I'm teaching akak how to spell "Assorted Biscuits" and other household items. I'm marvelling at God's great plan for the perfect balance in this world. Always had, always will. I can stand on my own. This teenager only needs to pen his thoughts down, don't care if it's read or not. I'm happy the way I am. Popularity is much not needed here.
Oops, I've gotta get back to akak. She's asking how to spell "Campbell's Instant Soup". Hold on, I'm coming!!