Sunday, May 28, 2006

Last Minute Worries.

The nervousness is nervewrecking! 5hours to BRATs sign in and I'm a bundle of nerves! So many questions been runing in my mind since the past couple of days. I wonder how are things going to be there. How's the motel going to be like? Grace and akak had their triumph in scaring/convincing me that those kind of old motels by the beach are usually "unclean" and there was an instance Grace referred that the motel was something like a pick-up place for prostitutes. Imagine a brothel in some Chinese movies with those single red bulb hanging in the middle of the room, giving tenants the impression of blood on the walls. In addition, I have my fair share of scaring myself that motels like those are filled with low hanging cobwebs and emtpy walkways with creepy old-fashioned elevators (worse still, no elevators!) and blood filled bathtub.

"Are the walls going to spill out blood when I sleep in one of those bunks beds that are pictured in ghost stories?" I asked Grace. "Most probably," she answered in a casual tone. I know these are not true but considering all those horror flicks I've watched which revolves around motels and rooms - like The Sisters, Ju-On, One Missed Call, The Shutter and I can't remember what else - and all the horror story books I've read, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm scared. Well, I am. I can't stop my imagination from flowing. "Just bring your rosary and everything will be fine," added Grace after hearing my rants. "Can I bring the statue of Jesus also and set up a mini altar there? And if I have to, I'll exorcise the place myself," I replied.

Really feel like pulling myself out now.

Urgh. What is this called? Last minute anxiousness or something. I bet it's a sickness. No one gets as jumpy as me when something big is nearing. Attending Aunt Judy's (mom's friend from church) son's wedding dinner (which I spent my entire evening trying to get my mind off things, reading Harry Potter) last night made more questions pop out into my mind. Am I really ready for this? What if I FAILED miserably on the assignments (according to the schedule, we're to be given assignments)?? What are the people going to be like?? Am I going to meet any friends?? Will it be tiring like scout camp?? I'm having the impression that the field assignments are going to be someting like America's Next Top Model's walk-in-interview. You know, travelling in hurriedly in a van from one place to the other. Anyway, talk about confidence, I ain't got any!

As excited as it is, I'm still nervous about it. I've got my fingers crossed.

Saturday, May 27, 2006


Finally, managed to drag myself into packing last night, after failing miserably to "open up" to Malaysian entertainment industry. Seriously, One In A Million?? What the hell is wrong with Malaysia?? Am I the only ONE that thinks that the reality TV show is one messed up one?? It's so called a "singing competition" or "talent search program" that is opened to all Malaysians, local artists and normal citizens alike! The winner gets cash and prizes worth a million bucks. Paul Moss, previous judge of Malaysian Idol (also the judge of this show after Malaysian Idol was scrapped off) will always be asking, "Do you think you're worth spending a million bucks on with that kinda act?". Dayang Nurfaizah auditioned, for heaven's sake!

*urgh* I'll have to stop talking about this. I feel my temper rising to an uncontrollable point. Another mention of One In A Million will probably send me into a bitch fit! I was barely watching it, as I was watching some silly comedic Thai horror flick and I only turned to 8TV during commercials.

Packing my bags for a certain outing usually requires alot of time for me. I'll never learn how to travel light, I guess. Maybe it's bescause I have body odor and I'm really required to change that often to save mankind from suffering the effects of my odor. Yeap, I'm really opening up to my blog. The hassle of picking which bags to use (often changing from a smaller one to a bigger one as the list of things to bring grows longer by itself) and the whole packing process took me about three hours or so! Checking and re-checking all my stuff so it's complete (usually more than complete!) and I wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of insufficient-ness! Better prepared now from my past experiences of church camps and scout camps!

I also managed to get my mane shaved off yesterday for the usual price of RM5 from that friendly aunty who opens a small hair salon with her house that's located a few block away from where I live. I just walk across the park to get to her place. It may be weird - now that it's the holidays and people will usually like to keep their hair long in hopes of regaining their beauty for the mere two weeks - that I'm starting to cut my hair at the start of the holidays. Don't worry, I don't usually abide to rules after school time either, but it's my own will to get it cut. Managing a mane like I used to, before the school changed its rules, was really tiring. The hair was given more attention that it was supposed to receive. Why the trouble? I'll rather be Bald and Ugly (although I secretly think that I look better bald).

Other than that, there are still a few things left to be inserted during the last minute into my LUGGAGE. STuff like the toothbrush and toothpaste and some other toiletries. Right now, I'll have to get a shower and get ready for my catechism outing to watch The Da Vinci Code. Who knows what it's going to be like there! I mean, Nicholas won't be there and Grace is tagging along for the movie. I'd probably be bored to death with the people I barely even mix with in catechism. Let's just say, they're the cooler people than I am. They get the news first before I do. Is it because of the age difference?? Maybe.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Life After Exams.

Now that the exams are over (sighs), I'm back to my old internet-addicted self. Blogging, surfing, and downloading! The computer's still a litle unstable after the reformat. I'm still replacing things to the way it was. Not a smart choice, but... talking about being comfortable with your computer, I think I'll continue with my work. My internet connection's pretty messed up too. I'm not sure what's wrong with it but it's really getting on my nerves! It's connected all the time but it just can't load sites like it used to. I'd have to re-click or re-enter an URL for multiple times before it gets connected to a certain site. Very very frustrating... So far, the only explanation I can deal with is that BitComet's pretty much disturbing the line.

Anyway, decided to skip school today with the main excuse of wanting to catch the results of American Idol live at 8a.m. in the morning. Which brings to, TAYLOR HICKS!! He won! Astro "via satellite" airing of American Idol was pretty faulty. Minutes before Prince's performance, I lost the channel. The TV went blank. The remote was the victim then. Ferociously hitting all the buttons for it to come back. Fortunately, the show resumed seconds before I start hitting and banging the Astro decoder

Back to the results, it's pretty unbelievable, if you ask me. Who would've ever thought it could be HIM? I mean, I always saw him as the "old man" throughout the whole season. The grey hair?? Makes him look like his 100years old. The image of his parents during the finale performance was almost surreal. Grace went, "Oh, Taylor still has parents!". I expected others like Kellie Pickler with her cuteness (who wouldn't?), Paris Bennet with her skills and confidence, Chris Daughtry with his rocker style or Elliot Yamin with his soulful voice to be "crowned" the American Idol. Instead, Mr. Soul Patrol got the part! Though, I must admit that Taylor's dancing skills and moves cracks me up! That wobbly-legs move he does! Man, that's funny! Oh well, that's how Americans see it. I'm nothing but a spectator.

I spent my day catching up with stuff online. Checking out the blogs that I missed so much over the past 2 weeks, mail, music update and etc. Practically spent my whole day staring into cyberspace, in front of the square box that gives out light in my room. By lunch time, I realised my eyes get smaller and tears keep rolling down my cheeks. Vision narrowed and my eyelids were halfway through closing. Took a turn to spend my afternoon clearing the mess I've made in my room over the examinations period. It was like a rat's nest and it definitely smelled like one too. Cleared thickening layers of dust which settled on my table and shelves, collected for 2 weeks and rearranged my CDs and books.

I listen to alot of songs when I study. I absolutely cannot tolerate with silence when I'm studying. Therefore, CDs are left, exposed on the table without covers and some are left stuck in the players. Books used for referrance taken off the shelves are left opened on the floor and desk due to the hurriedness of a student to do his last minute studies. In short, ther room's in a total mess when I don't have the time to clean it. Somehow, I try my best to keep the bed clean as I very much need the sleep every single day.

The other things I did today after my clean-up of the mutilated room was read. Surprise, surprise! Yeap, I do read. Remember the book I read somewhere in January, "The World Of Suzie Wong"? I do read, but not that much. It proves that I can be THAT lazy till I can get pretty reluctant to pick up one of the many books that was passed down to us by my late godfather to start reading the tiny printed words over the pages that has turned yellow over the years and pretend that it's really intriguing! But... I managed to pick up Harry Potter's (again) fifth book, The Order Of The Phoenix. Seeing that Grace had already finished with the sixth book - The Half Blood Prince - I wanted to start too and thought, what would be the best time other than after-exams? The only reason I'm re-reading the fifth book is because, I can remember nothing about it. I have to know, at least, what happened the last time to catch up with the sixth book.

So now, I have the book opened to page 139, chapter nine on my desk in front of my keyboard while my player plays Pussycat Dolls - Beep. Reading can be very time consuming. Same goes to internet-surfing!

I still have a list of things to complete tomorrow. Guess I'll be skipping school again since Edward has shown not even the slightest interest of attending school tomorrow. Grrr. Let me see, I'm going to have my hair cut tomorrow. After much contemplating with myself, to cut or not to cut my hair for this mid-year holiday. Was pretty much convinced to let it grow till I get back to school until I tried applying some gel over it! It was hideous! There was no way I was going to bring myself to BRATs workshop looking like that! So, I'm going to get it shaved off (I abide to the school rules!) tomorrow at the nearby barber for RM5.

I'll also have to start packing my bags, getting ready for BRATs this Sunday. Wait, do I sound like I'm bragging about this BRATs workshop? Please tell me if I am. It's just... it's quite a big deal for me and I'm really excited and looking forward to it. Made a few phone calls to the STAR headquarters to confirm my payment for the workshop and called up the accomodation place to get the location. Still haven't picked which bags to use and what to bring.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


The end of the examinations (or as I call it, the TORMENT period) ended with a good note, I think. Once again, the exams were here and my life was taken over like alien invasion or something. My mind hasn't been functioning properly since the exams started. I keep forgetting things and I find it hard, at times, to talk. The right words just can't come out and pronounciations are all awry. Saliva has not stopped itself from spilling out during conversations either. And worse of all, I think I have Short Term Memory Loss. If it's anyhow true, I think it's getting worse by the day. Ask the people around me. The number of times I ask, "Where was I?" in a conversation can get to an alarming rate.

"Now, where was I?"

Anyway, the first semester examinations, (*sighs* I'm glad to say) are over. The whole week of examinations wasn't exactly smooth-sailing. Well, the examination itself wasn't smooth-sailing but with the breakdown of my computer on the second day of exams, I almost got off track. Completely. I wasn't sure what was it that I do to get my computer into a stage of disrepute. I was helpless and desperate at that time. Computer breakdowns, especially during examinations, gets me all hyped up and worried. At that time, attempts of resuscitating the computer often result in me ignoring my books for the next subject the next day. Which explains the blank stares into the sky and the heaps of unwritten blank sheets I passed up the next day during my History paper.

The only thing I remember doing after that was to call my computer technician to come fix my computer. I told you I was desperate! I mean, I knew completely the ways to reformat (that's the only way out isn't it?) my computer but I seriously was lacking of resources to do it. And since it was the exam season, I decided to get the technician to get it done for me. Told him to try avoid erasing my whole system and keep all my files before I closed the door, watching him walk into the elevator with my CPU on his hand. The whole time (which was only 2 days) my computer was "admitted into the hospital", life was sucked out of me. Going back to a home without my computer is like returning home to a house that has no furnitures.

But, I've gotta give credits to him for having it done so fast (unexpectedly!) and for returning all my files to the way it was. The only thing that changed when my computer got back was the user interface (default Windows XP) and some other few things that I would like to have it my way. The return of the computer was also another thing that got me ignoring my books on the last minute studies. Who can blame me for being a last minute heroe? =P

The whole computer process breakdown got me so caught up in restoring it to the way it was. Now, I'm installing Microsoft Office 2003. Had some trouble with my AntiVirus over the past couple of days. I think I just got my blood pressure elevated a little bit with the frustration I facing when I couldn't get Norton Antivirus installed. I tried McAfee also and it gave me a hell of a time. I settled with AVG Antivirus Professional Edition after making back and forth trips to the nearest pirate dealer for my software CDs.

Technological life : it's like that.

Seeing what I've been doing during my exams, you can roughly figure out that I haven't been concentrating entirely on it. The lack of preparation for this exam says it all! Blogging, downloading, watching movies through my computer most of my days were obviously the reasons. I was too blind to see then. I' mentioning it again that I was always a last-minute person. Wouldn't dare to use "heroe" now cause my results will be nothing near to "heroic". Well, what do you expect me to be? The kind of person who literally isolates himself from the entire world when examinations are near? The kind who keeps himself in his room swearing not to catch another glimpse of entertainment until examinations are over? I guess I'm pretty different than what you think. *shrugs*

Well, it's not that I'm letting my studies go down the drain. I do study. I just don't overdo it. It may benefit most of the time - with grades like no other and academic excellence - but the other important stuffs in life are put aside when you're too into your studies. Religion (attending the church) and vital moral values are often left out by people who overstudy. I see better than that. I know off people who just can't attend church during examinations period complaining that they have to revise their studies. I really don't see what the fuss is all about. For God's sake, we only spend an hour or two with Him!

I'm more to being a last minute person, although I know it's not the right path for a student to follow. Gotta change!

Apparently, this exam was one of my worst in line. Or at least, I think. Results wouldn't be out till after the mid-year school holidays. Two weeks free from the menacing looks of loathing teachers and scathing remarks! I kinda know how my results would look like. Until then, I'd rather enjoy myself during the holidays while I still can and worry about my results after that.

Matt : I think I'm getting really, really bad results this time.
Mom : *smacks my head*
Grace : I suppose I'll have to confiscate your computer and other entertainment gadgets you have, then.
Matt : *gasps* You can't do that!
Grace : And why not?
Matt : We watched "High School Musical" last night didn't we? You saw how Troy lost his spirits after his girlfriend was taken away from him? I'm going to lose my spirits too if you's confiscated my things! Grades will get woser than they are now.
Mom : Ya loh, ya loh!

For now, I'm going to have to start packing my bag for my BRATs workshop this Sunday and I'll have to complete customizing my computer by then. And there's also going to be a Catechism outing this Saturday. They decided to go watch the religion-shaking movie The Da Vinci Code together as a catechsim outing. Can't wait!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Se7en - Come Back To Me

Come Back to Me

yeah--- oh-----
cham man ee mi wot ssuh
nuh ae mo deun gae oh lae dwen sa jin sok ae
nal bo myuh oot go sun go oon nuh pyo jung deul kka ji
ji go na myun nae gae loh dol ah ool guh la go
ji gyub gae nuh leul eet ji mot ha neun nae ga duh mi wot ssuh
ee jen da ee jeul guh lan ji kil soo doh ubt neun yak sok ha go
nuh leul bo nen gi euk ae
ja kkoo nan ji chuh man ga neun dae yea baby

*dol ah jwoh muhl ji ahn ta myun (ahn ta myun)
ah jik na leul sarang han da myun (han da myun)
ah jik kka ji nan geu ja li ae (ja li ae)
nuhl gi da li go eet ssuh yea yea
ee mee da leun sarang han da myun (han da myun)
buhl ssuh na leul da eet juht da myun jo geum man (jo geum man)
duh gi da lil kkae duh mi woh hal soo eet doh lok yea

cham oh lae ji nat ji
nae ga dduh nan ji sarang han gi euk eun da
chum boo tuh ubt ssuh dun eel chuh lum
moh doo eet juh ssuh geu lun dae wae ee luh kae
noon mool ee na neun ji nuh leul man na duh guh lil guhl euh myuh
ddoh him ee deun gun ji ee jen da eet juht da go
oot seul soo doh eet dan mal doh ha go
nuh ae gi euk ha na doh ubt da go mit go ji net neun dae yea baby~

repeat *

man ee neut neun dae
(oh neut juht neun dae)
buhl ssuh dduh nat neun dae
nuh leul eet ji mot ha go
nae ga kkok dol ah oohl guh la go
nae gae loh mit go eet neun guhl mo leu go suh
nuhl da eet juht da mit uht na bwa
nan ah jik kkeut kka ji nuhl mi woh mot ha go
geu li woh man ha na bwah yeah
heng bok ha gae sal jin mal ah joh (oh neul dduh na suh)
na leul dduh na duh him deul uh jwoh
da shi nae gae oh go ship doh lok baby
nan yuh jun hee ee got sae nuhl gi da li go eet ssuh
oh-- oh yeah~

yeah--- oh-----
I hated you a lot
Even your pure face which made me so happy
I hated myself even more for miserably thinking
That after I woke up from this sleep, that you'd come back
Now I made a promise that I wont keep,
To forget everything about you
In the memories, I am getting more and more weary yeah baby

*Come back to me if you're not too far
If you still love me...
I am still waiting for you right here yeah yeah
If you already forgot about me,
I'll wait a little more so I can hate myself more yeah~

Its been such a long time since you've left
I forgot everything including our loving memories
But I dont know why these tears are falling
I walk down the street where I met you
Am I having a hard time again?
I say to myself, that I can laugh it all off
I kept telling myself that I have not even one memory of you left

repeat *

Its really late
You already left
But I can't forget you
I believed that I forgot you
But really, I believed that you'd surely come back
Maybe I have to hate you and miss you 'til the end
When you left, I had a harder time
Please come back to me baby
If you remember me again, if you come back to me again
I am always here in this place waiting
oh-- oh yeah~

After winning the MTV Asia Awards for Favourite Artist Korean, Se7en definitely made an appeal to me. I searched for some of his songs and came to this. I think it's a nice song. Just though of sharing. I'm still not a die-hard fan, though. It's supposed to be the language barrier that's keeping me from being a fan of his. For now, I'm still listening to the rythm of his song and I'm still trying to pronounce the words of this songs. The lyrics definitely helps. Just click on the title of the song to download it.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

MTV Asia Awards 2006

I was clicking away on my computer, reading on XP tweaks and waiting for someone to reply my post on the forum I recently joined. You know, for a guy who STILL hasn't touched his books despite the fact that his exams are just a week (16/5) away, I sure spend a lot of time on my computer (watching The O.C., tweaking XP, downloading movies and music and plain surfing the internet. In short, I wste my time on the computer). What else with the new monitor I just got about 2 days ago. The pink was making my eyes pop out of their sockets. It was making me nauseous. Mom decided to change it for me, with her tight budget for the month and for the months to come. Somehow, comparing the probability of an eye operation to the purchase of a new monitor, mom chose the latter.

So I was still on the computer - which reminds me of what Grace brought to attention in the car yesterday. She said I was too attached to my computer after my simple refusal to the idea of following the whole family for a walk in the park and then proceed to the nearest fruit stall. "He's addicted to it, I tell you," dad added indignantly. Obviously, she was right. I was just too much of a snob to admit it to her but replaced it with the 'no comment' silence. Anyway, I was at my desk typing something on the keyboard until the feeling of dehydration arose and I got up to get my water bottle refilled. I saw the clock and it was nearing 1 a.m. and MTV Asia Awards 2006 will be on anytime soon.

Initially, the only thing that got my interest was that Lee Hom and Kelly Rowland are hosting it. I wanted to see how they worked together. So I cleared up my desk in my room and with the water bottle in hand, I sat in front of the TV. Honestly, I wasn't impressed at all. I think this is my first time watching the MAA and just found out that this was the 5th annual one. To the sight of screaming fans and glaring spotlights, the MAA 2006 kicked off with an opening performance by Korn. "Great! Korn! That's the best they can do..." I mumbled to myself as I watched the coloured spotlights going crazy and the band still refusing to start singing after such a long time of weird guitar sounds.

Things got a little better when Lee Hom made his appearance performance and Kelly did her's.

To my dismay, Kelly and Lee Hom didn't really performed well to my expectations. Their jokes (only numbered) were stale. They weren't at all talkative or lively. Intoductions were read from a card. They can barely say anything meaningful. But with the amount of times both of them change, I could tell they had a big wardrobe backstage. It kind of got boring since they come out with a new outfit after every commercial every SINGLE time! But Lee Hom and Kelly DID look good despite their outfit changes. And Kelly's debut performance of her new single "Gotsta Go" was pretty cool.
The stage definitely did not look like they have given time into doing it. It was like a last mintue job. They created this animated movie (cartoon) called the Codehunters. I really don't see any relativity to the whole stage set-up and the awards show. There were men dressed up like robotic soldiers walking around the stage, escorting every award presenters like there was going to be another terrorist attack. The stage set-up definitely didn't themed like the Codehunters cartoons, whatever the theme might be. The whole stadium looked like it was lost in time! C'mon Bangkok, you can do better than this!

Award givers/presenters weren't very glamorous, since it the artists ranges from people from Asia like Malaysia (Ahli Fiqir and Too Phat), Singapore (Taufik Batisah), Taiwan (Vicky Zhao Wei and Vaness Wu) , Indonesia, etc. The ONLY international presenters I really knew were like The Veronicas, Simon Webbe and Same Same (very weird name, I know) the brothers from The Moffats. I'm not quite sure what's up with them. I can't remember much about the presenters but I know they weren't very as lively as they were supposed to be - cracking jokes per se wasn't in their mind at all.

The award winners themselves weren't very eloquent. The Asians ones, I mean. Not that I have anything against them or their music. It's just that, couldn't they at least make people believe thet they were prepared for it? Thank you-s were very short and sounded insincere. If you can't do that, then at leats look happy receiving it! They were all so emotionless when called on stage. They were very frivolous. The only person I thought was sincere was Se7en when he was awarded the Favourite Artist Korea and Simon Webbe when he was awarded Favourite Breakthrough Artist.

Somehow, it didn't occur to me that Asians were still using broken English until Jolin Tsai made her quick, short speech when she went to the stage to receive her The Style Awards. I guess they make an exception when it comes to the MAA. Malaysian also kind of gave a bad impression when Mawi got the Favourite Artist Malaysia and didn't show up for it and didn't even took the courtesy to record a video for his dying fans. It looks to me that Mawi's too busy running his own nonsensical reality shows that revolves around him alone! Unlike Kelly Clarkson and Ricky Martin, they took the initiative to express their gratitude and love through a recorded video towards their fans for giving them the award and explaining why they couldn't be there. Ricky Martin was busy touring and Kelly Clarkson was busy recording her new album. I thought that the MAA was just to small of an AWARD to be attending to them.

To me, the night looked like it was gradually going down every second when Kelly's microphone didn't work after her second attempt to it (Lee Hom offered his to her mouth) and also when they crowd of crazy fans didn't respond to Kelly's desperate yells of "Let me hear ya make some noise!". Luckily, the crowd picked up quickly and made some soft mumble of a cheer.

However, on a birghter note, I did enjoy the performance by Asian and Western artists alike! The collaboration between Lee Ryan (who didn't get any award) and Tata Young on their rendition of 'Endless Love'. I didn't see any chemical between them at all. Daniel Powter (singing Bad Day while playing the piano) and Hoobastank gave good (and quiet) performances while
Jolin Tsai and Se7en made their performaces hot and sizzling!

After all that is said, I can happily conclude that the Asian music industry has still a long way to go before the even achieve the word Internationally Prestigious! Courtesy and eloquence are still the two things that needs to be practiced. Untill then, MTV Asia Awards 2006 is not an award show worth staying up till 3.30 a.m. to watch!! Just check out the full list of winners here.