Saturday, March 18, 2006


lately, i've been very deprived of words when it comes to blogging. i don't know. it's like, i have nothing to talk about on my blog. and i wonder to myself, is the shortage of ideas the effect of having greeted by the same old boring "Create A Post" page? the uninterestingness of the page itself. the dullness of the page. could it be that's sucking me of my ideas??

or maybe it's the same old me who gets tired of everything after having it for a while? i mean, like material things, i get bored with my portable CD player after a few months getting it for my birthday present. now it's stashed away in one of my drawers. or like a thing, a game, i'm addicted to, but easily lose interest in after a few attempts of getting over a difficult level. in malay, we call it "hangat-hangat tahi ayam" which literally means, the warmth of chicken poop is only temporary. sadly, this is happening to my interest. or is it?

or it could be the pressure on myself to feel the need of having an extremely long post everytime i blog? but then again, i don't think i'm not purposely prolonging my posts. i write whatever that comes out from my mind. although, i might say, there is a little feeling of needing to prolong my posts. at least a little bit. =P

the last reson could be this. the question all bloggers can ask themselves is, are we really honest to this so called "diary" we're keeping online? to me, as a blogger, i'd say no. most of the time, of course, the things that i write are real, but then, each time, before i want to post something, i'd have to think twice first. honestly, isit only me? i mean, it's very unlikely of me to be affected by what other might say and think about me, but before i lay out the ugly truth about something, i'd have to think how it might affect the people beside me and me.

for instance, i have this disgusting tendency to fart (alot) when i get nervous. it's kind of gross, i know, but i can't help it. see, if i was to mention that in a whole post by itself, some people might start to get away from me when they come near me, right? so, whatever i'm writing is going to be read by the whole world (i'm not trying to boast, you'll never know who comes to your blog!).

so the real reason of blogging has been once again been swayed by community. or maybe by ourselves. see, bloggers only post what others might want to see. not what the blogger himself/herself might like to post. but i guess that's how things goes in this world of blogging. who knows, maybe i might just give up blogging right now? but then again, i don't think so. my reason for blogging was just to write. i love writing. not very good at it at the moment, but still learning. yet, for some other people, blogging could be so new and fun and exciting to them. to me, i suggest bloggers would rather be off as anonymous, so we could show our true colours for the world to see, behind a curtain.

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