Friday, June 02, 2006

Half A Year.

Returning from the oh-so-wonderful-and-what-a-great-experience BRATs camp, I realised it was June. I mean, who wouldn't? It came to me that half a year has passed by but New Year's Day felt like it was just yesterday. Well, maybe it's because I spent my New Year's Day in a cave for nearly 5 hours and had somehow or other, etched its way into the depth of my brains and remained fresh in my mind. It's half a year, I'm talking about here. Quite a number of things has happened and it all seemed so fast.

School is still pretty much still a blur to me just like the way it was in January. Maybe it's because of the whole school-rule-change and the new principal trying to dominate the whole school into an army base! That guy reshuffled the whole school timetable, for crying out loud! I was just beginning to get used to the one we got at the start of school term and he gets it his way. Making me hate school even more. I still find it a drag to wake up in the morning for school. Improvements have taken place, though. I've made a couple of new (now that I can safely call) friends in my classroom whom I can actually talk to. Stiil, the thouight of walking through the empty hallways of school with a slightly hunched back (due to the overweight schoolbag) and rushing to get to the next Science class makes me nauseous.

Half a year, and I lost a member of the family. Everyone's been coping really well with kong kong's passing. I heard the tombstone of kong kong was given the final touches last week and was kind of ready. I still haven't visited the grave since the funeral. Wonder how it looked like. It gave me the idea of actually having a life sized angel with a spear (inspired by the holy wings of Angel from X3) on my tombstone when I die! But nevermind that. Chinese people will curse at the mention of the word death!

Ironically, I lost a member of the family and I'm waiting for the arrival of a new one! I think I've mentioned this before, but I can't remember when, seh yi's pregnant. News of her pregnancy reached my ears right after kong kong's funeral and I was overjoyed! I seriously don't know why, but I felt the adrenaline rush over me as I saw her belly slowly inflating. Certainly is weird, considering I'm only going to get a new cousin! Maybe I'm just thrilled to see a mother getting pregnant. I could barely understand what it all meant when mom had Edmund when I was only EIGHT! Maybe after my shallow Science lessons in school, I find pregnancy a little more interesting.

But lately, I received new that seh yi hasn't been feeling too well for a pregnant mother. She was admitted into the hospital for the last three days, claiming that her baby was inactive. She doesn't seem too well to me also. The doctor said there might be possibilities that the baby might not be very "healthy". You know, born under certain circumstances. There was even a little whisper of abortion, I heard. Oh, we're all praying for her to plough through this.

Besides that, who could forget the numerous time I fell sick since the beginning of the year? Was even close to believing that I had throat cancer! It's half a year and I've fallen sick again! I don't know how I can keep up with this anymore. It's been depriving me of my energy! This time, it's not the sore throat (oh, I hope not!), it's the nose. It started yesterday when I couldn't help sneezing whil watching The O.C. I convinced myself that it's just a temporary thing and it'll go away after I get a shower or something. Went to the doctor today to only find out that it's not even the common flu! It's caused by allergies to my surrounding and I must've smelled something really awful to get my nose (the internals) swollen! I'm close to actually wearing a mask over my mouth and nose, all the time, to prevent this from happening.

I am so freaking weak! The doctor says it's all connected to me having asthma since I was eight. No surprise there! And the nose had been running like tap water - I've filled two plastic bags with wantons!

It's half a year and my birthday's nearing. I'm 16 this year. Sweet 16 MTV style? Don't think so. The chinese believe that immediate family members are not supposed to celebrate any occasions at all for the first year of kong kong's death! It's a sign of respect and mourning for the deceased. So, any means of celebrating sweet 16 would have to be put away. But then, at the beginning of the year, I've always had the thought of celebrating my birthday. The thought of celebrating it grandly may have occured a little bit, somewhere in the corner of the mind. Reality slips back into that corner of my mind, telling me that no one would actually show up if there was a celebration of some sort. True, I guess, considering the amount of friends I've got, which is... Edward only! The thought of no one showing up for my party is even worse than the thought of having only one friend!

The first half of the year was practically filled with overdue-d homework and failed examinations. I really don't want to talk about it. It's tiresome to even think of homework, especially when one's sick! Exams? Really bad. I'm going to retire into my bed and maybe watch Family Stone or probably get started on Grey's Anatomy.

"I don't wanna spend my life wasted..."

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