Rude Awakening.

Would you look at the time. Although my eyes are searing in pain, I can't seem to get hold of the idea of sleeping. I've tried multiple times to go back to sleep, shutting my eyes tightly as if I was afraid of something but I just can't. I woke up at 3.21a.m. to be exact and I still have my whole day ahead of me. I have school to attend in a couple of hours, school club meeting to attend after that till late in the evening and church camp meeting to attend also after the school club meeting. Damn it! It's the last day of the school term before the month long holidays start and I'm as tied up as I would probably be at the beginning of the term. Usually, I'd make up lies (or you can say manipulating truth to make every event to seem to clash) to get out of these unruly teenager-managed meetings. But somehow, this time, I'm not. I don't feel like I've got the guts to do all that fidgeting in front of my superiors anymore.

Life is probably at its lowest point for me (I repeat, for me!) right now. My 2nd term examination results definitely don't look promising - or even near acceptable for that matter. Don't judge me here, just yet. When I complain about school, examinations, results and everything else that comes in that category, I do mean it. I don't complain just for the sake of complaining when my results are as good as everybody else's and if I was a diligent and obedient little student in the first place. Well, I'm not. Let's put it this way, the only thing I aim to score (or aim not to fail) in school is English. Anyway, mom still has no idea that this year the examination results are going to be mailed to our houses. It's the first time the school has ever implemented this ridiculous idea of informing the student's parents about their results through mail. Before this, it was us bringing the annual report book back for our parents to get their signature to approve that they've seen the book. Well, I think after years of dealing with forged signatures, the school decided to copy some foreign idea instead.

The only reason I'd say this whole system is ridiculous what it is is because the school management are requiring payment for the envelopes! How absurd. I mean, if you were going to do in the first place, might as well do it professionally. I guess not. They're even wanting us to pay for the cost of the stamps! Well, who am I to object and refuse to pay say no? So lately, mom has been pressing me on my examination results - slipping in sarcastic comments and snide remarks here and there in our daily conversations, pushing me to tell her my results, which she knew was going to suck. I haven't know all my results yet, but there have been a few subjects that the teachers have taken the liberty to spill the beans. And judging from those few, I'd say the whole examination was messed up. And when I told mom about how bad the situation was going to be, she never stopped nagging me from then on - telling me how I should be turning things around seeing that I have my (big) finals, next year. Let's not go deeper about that. It's already depressing enough that I have to attend school tomorrow.

You should know, I'm the kind of student who dreads the idea of school, every single day. It's surprising how I can still hate the idea of waking up at 6a.m. to get ready for school which starts at 7.25a.m. everyday despite the fact that I've been doing it for my whole life! I think it's something similar to adults dreading work. I'll never leave an opportunity lying around which allows me to skip school - wedding, party, church, you name it. I'll always take up any chores to skip school. Even when there's nothing for me as an excuse, I'd request to skip school when I feel like it. Yeah, a spoiled brat, I know. But I don't exercise it regularly or abuse the credibility, just so you know. Just when the occasional wave of laziness in me that makes me wish like I'd rather be a kid once again when life wasn't really all that hectic. So you can probably guess how much I skip school after the end year examinations, as there's nothing more to study till next year and attending school would be a waste of precious time, clicking away mindlessly on my computer. But this time it's different.

On Tuesday (or Wednesday, I can't remember), Edward texted me to say that he has got himself landed in the hospital. Which reminds me, I haven't even visited him yet! I knew he was sick a couple of days ago when I called his house and his mom picked up to tell me what was wrong with him. And now, he's in ward 304 in Island Hospital because of dengue! Other than his coarse voice over the phone, I suspect that he's fine. Due to that, he needed me to finish his assignment for him and pass it up - the incredulous and unimportant Additional Mathematics assignment that everyone has to complete before the school ends. I did nothing much, actually. Just tweaked a little here and there and printed another copy of my assignment under his name and I need to get it to school by tomorrow. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even bother to think about school tomorrow. As they always say, a friend in need is a friend in deed!

Speaking of hospitals, poh poh has also landed herself in hospital yesterday with her lower stomach aching. The only reason why she's still lying in the old hospital bed, not knowing what's the cause of her ache is because the doctor in Balik Pulau Hospital (one of the most remotest and depressing hospitals I've ever been to in one of the most remotest town in Penang) is highly insufficient. Damn it! The place is so old and badly equipped you can barely call it a hospital! There's not even a multi storey building resemblance of a hospital at all, apart from the white uniformed nurses and the sick patients. Really strange. Poh poh being admitted into the hospital has caused everyone to worry. We still don't know what's the cause of her pain!

Another thing that's been killing me is the pure fact that Adrian, the rebellious, annoying, mischievous, yet easily missed 13 year old cousin of mine is in Australia (Sydney or Melbourne, I can't remember) enjoying his holidays with his relative. Crap. I'm still stuck in little Penang with the most uninteresting events taking place while he's in Gold Coast sightseeing or whatever he's doing there. It's 8.15 a.m. there, I think. It's 5.15a.m. here and the sky is as dark as it was 5 hours before and I'll have to go wash up in another hour. Not only that he's on a holiday trip, his uncle got him a new mobile phone as well, adding up to all the pressure in me. He seems to be getting everything he wants for Christmas. Am I jealous? Maybe. But I'm still on the process of detachment. The phrase applies, "The man with the best gadgets wins." At one point, yes. But not now!

Oh well, I guess that's it for now. I can definitely feel the sense of relief after writing this. It's simply inexplicable how putting in a few words together to describe the state of life I'm in can help me feel better. The wonders of blogging? At least my night wasn't a total waste with the download of Jim Brickman's Christmas Romance album completed accompanying me throughout the night.