Sunday, July 17, 2005

Dejected and Rejected!

at some points in my life, i always feel that i'm rejected by my friends and sumtimes, even my family. for instance, wat happened to me today. i woke at the noise of akak yelling at the top of her voice to wake me up! felt so sleepy! so, finished my morning and afternoon with just a glimpse of it! anyway, when i came home from tuition, i found out that aunt. amy had called dad to ask him for a favour to fetch her children to church. it's no big deal, she told us before to help her out in this kinda situations and we can't be happier to help. in this case, she said that her youngest baby was asleep and she didn't wanna bring them to church. so she asked dad to pick them up on the way. the problem is, her daughter is like, my forever biggest crush! i mean, she's the kinda girl that's alwasy there, but is so hard to reach or even make frens with. it's been like 4years now, that i'm attending the same catechism with her. and she's like, never notices me! i mean, i have to admit, i do have a crush. but who wouldn't? she's ever pretty and beautiful and elegant! but i nvr actually thought of hooking up with her and stuff. my crush is only a friendship kinda crush. honest! anyway, she's like a year older than me and she's on a relationship now, i think. but the point is, altho we picked her up today, she din even looked at me or even smiled at me! like, there's no surprise actually, she nvr does notices me. LOL. but i'm saying, in the same car, and not even a word? wat the heck. sometimes i think that she's just being obnoxious but it's kinda hard to tell from her looks. she's just so sweet! i don't fantasise abt her tho, i'm just always admiring her beauty. do i sound pervertic?? hope not! i don mean to anyway! but things have always been like dat, since, 4eva?? i think. none of the girls in catechism notices that i'm there. i nvr talk to any of them, except for a few squirmy times, i guess. seriosuly, i feel so invisible to them. i'm always wondering why?? have i done something wrong to annoy them?? or am i just to afraid to talk 2 them?? but, most of the time, if i were to take a step, i'll usually be left unanswered or unreplied. i feel like a dumbass! the other guys in class, ofcoz, get alot more attention than i do. even some of the guys in catechism ignores me totally most of the time. urgh! i'm so pissed off. maybe it's becoz of my age. i'm the youngest among them there. so, i always blame it on my age! LOL. most of the time, i dont give it much of a thought. but i guess it's kinda just nice, to write abt it, lettin my self "unload"!

No comments: