Sheer Tiredness.

Phew. At last, some free and alone time after a hectic couple of weeks. Really. Last night was the first night since I-can't-remember-when I managed to get to bed before the clock struck twelve - and that too needed a lot of contemplating with the books and computer before I actually forced myself to bed. Couldn't remember how long it took before I began salivating all over the pillow but I'm sure it didn't take long for me to fall into the comfort of the bed and the blanket. As far as I can remember, the circles around my eyes were growing alarmingly larger by the day and most of the time, I found myself unable to keep awake (or sane, for that matter!), especially in classes and in the car, where everyone in the family has been complaining about my inadequate and annoying snoring. My immune system wasn't doing much good either after my little episode with the medicine. Yeah, I've recovered but I still feel vulnerable and weak with an awful lot of nauseating moments in the car. I mean, it's only the least to expect with all that disorientated sleep hours, right?

Urgh. School hasn't been really easy on me either. Mind you, I still have quite a number of unwritten essays that's worth a couple of weeks old and mathematical graphs that still requires a lot of fumbling with the rulers and scales and endless calculations. I just can't seem to find the time to sit down and complete them. At this point, I'm really not sure if I'm just giving excuses to myself and allowing myself to neglect my studies or that I really don't have the time to sit down and complete my work. I'll take a little bit of both, thank you. After all, it's not like I put all my time in doing things that I love - editing pictures or blogging - instead of ploughing through History essays. Which reminds me, I just got a bad comment from Mrs. Tan, my almost-expressionless History teacher who speaks with such a monotonous tone, claiming that I've become more talkative than I was last year, resulting me in almost failing my recent history test. She wants me to take note about this matter and wishes to see improvement in the months to come. Oh my. This only proves that I'm falling behind in studies as well.

Recent gossip around the school has also revealed that the school's taking another point of revelation, with the principal planning to upgrade the school status, allowing all the power he needs to cast out any student he wishes, with a flick of a finger, I assume. Further speculation proved that he has the intention to cast out all the bad apples of the school, namely, me. Judging by his speeches during assemblies, I can tell he won't hesitate in discarding the bad ones out of school - and he'll be taking action by the end of the 1st term examinations. If this isn't a depressing piece of news, I don't know what is. I'm just hoping what I hear remains as unsubstantiated news, which I strongly doubt to be unlikely, seeing how most of the fussy old teachers have been mentioning about this matter everytime they curse under their breathe of misbehaviours. I guess I'd better prepare my bags and start packing while I await the letter from the principal himself, sending me off to another new school. Hey, I can cope well with a new environment and I definitely can see the brighter side of things!

Back to being busy, I haven't got much time in my hands ever since that week in KL. I don't even have the time to chow down on some of the latest music release (oh, I'm so far behind on the latest news!). Barely even have the time to spend it in front of the computer to blog or even check my emails. Besides the usual rushing from sports house practices and boring tuition classes that take up pretty much of my time, I was tied down with a pair of Siamese twins friends for the past week. Couldn't remember (apparently, those little hours of sleep I get has been making me forget quite a lot of things too lately!) how I actually volunteered to be a foster family for those exports all the way from Thailand, but I landed with two of them. They were here under a homestay program for about 4 days to attend our school and to experience a different culture of the students here. So basically, the 4 days were just spent roaming the malls - shopping wasn't on their list since, as I've found out from them, the things here are more expensive than the ones back home! We did manage to bond a little and made new friends along the way.

After that tedious 4 days which I only managed skimp through with dangerously insufficient sleep, I still had to attend the school's annual cross-country. Admittedly, I was hoping to be excused from the run, seeing that I was one of the few students who generously volunteered to be foster families for the school's homestay program. The least they could do was offer some allowance, you know. As harsh as it is, the school didn't give special attention to us and expected us to show up like every other student at the designated place. Like last year, Edward made me attend it, with helpless pleas of needing someone to run walk with, instead of being trampled by thousands of testosterone-charged students. Only this year, he showed up and the school changed the venue to a whole run around the Botanical Garden and further which adds up to an excruciating 6km to complete in less than hour! Of course, we completed the track in less than 2 hours (I think!), treading tiredly and dreadfully till the end where we cooled of, puffing and heaving, grasping for fresh air! Mind you, this is coming from a person who doesn't exercise regularly. What happened the rest of the day is available over at his blog. Plus, he provides better pictures than I did!

Just when I thought I had a day off on Sunday, I didn't. I still had to attend a Taoist ritual at amah's after church which was at 7 a.m.. The ritual, as I understood, was to invite the ancestral spirits, apparently to me, living in an old, battered, and blackened plaque lying at the altar in amah's house, to the clan house where a new plaque baring the names of the ancestors will be the spirits' new haunting place home. The ritual, carried out by the Taoist priest was naturally long and boring considering the fact that I don't exactly understand all those prayers recited in weird languages. The main reason the ritual was held was to aid amah in easing her burden of cooking up a ridiculously large feast for the dead every time a significant date approaches. Being herself, she was fairly displeased about the matter as she no longer has a reason to come up with 'a feast fit for a king' anymore and everyone knows her passion is cooking. Sadly, for her, she had to adhere to the voice of her children as one.

So the ritual itself took up the entire morning while Edmund's altar server's meeting in church got me spending my Sunday afternoon toiling in the car seat, struggling to find a comfortable position to sleep in, resulting me in being frustrated instead of getting any nap at all. Besides school being one of my major worries, church is also holding a long list of celebration in the week to come. It's the ending of Lent season and it's going to end with days more commonly known to people like Good Friday and Easter. A whole long list of masses to attend, some of which I have my duty as a Lector rostered. Just last night, I did my confession, in preparation for the celebrations to come. Next weekend too, we have cheng beng (qingming) which I am expected to follow the family to ancestors' tombs to do some clearing up and some offering. As I've mentioned before, we Catholics are (unfortunately) allowed to fulfill filial piety with joss sticks and all, without praying to any of their Gods.

So I guess I won't be seeing any rest anytime soon. Sigh.

P.S. : My limbs are still aching from Saturday's cross country and I still feel sleepy in school!