Worrying Matters

Spending my past two hours trying to complete my delayed proposal for the Interact Club in my school has led me to pulling out chunks of my hair in frustration! Well, if I had hair to be pulled. I couldn't think of anything for 'social work in school' to be proposed. Urgh. Got swayed away to blog reading though - and now, blogging myself. Something about staring at the blank page of a Word document and a stagnant mouse pointer with my finger rested on the keyboard just makes me feel uneasy. Already uneasy enough with the proposal, I just had to get my mind off things, I guess.

School today was as usual - flooded with work and assignments. Had alot of catching up to do, considering I missed an entire week of school last week, after my rendezvous getaway to an island to only come home sick and unable to attend the remaining two days of school. My level of unenthusiasm in class was soaring way high also, seeing that this will be the only week of school until the one week holidays which will be starting next week. Heaps of towering homework have been shoved to me, dutifully, by my classmates, overshadowing my gaze, as soon as I step into the classroom on the first day. It's still coming today. History finished a whole chapter without me and Add. Maths was also nearing the end of the chapter about Statistics.

Despite the amount of work waiting to be completed, I could still manage to find time to continue reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in class. I mean, I could hardly pay attention in Accountancy, what more with the absence of my note book as a result of borrowing it to Aiman. Resorted to reading to kill time, you know. Was exceptionally free the as Mrs. Lim (my Economics teacher) was away for a course, leaving the class to be substituted by another teacher for two entire periods. More reading time for me. Funny, it didn't feel THAT long anymore in school. Maybe we've grown accustomed to the time extension or time seems to pass smoothly when I'm not paying attention and secretly reading under the desk everytime the teacher turns her back on us to scribble on the blackboard? Maybe.

Unfortunately, by recess, I was already showered with a tonne leftover essays and notes after History that I was beginning to get worried that I might never be able to finish it all in this lifetime. As usual, I start to get weary with all those sheets of given notes all messed up of its accordance and all those extra notes and essay that I was supposed to complete weeks before. I became restless when I was reaaranging those notes, thinking about my proposal and more Accountancy notes that I had to complete also. Urgh. Spent my whole recess attemtping to do some History notes at the pond area of the school at one of those stone benches and table with Edward rummaging through my pencil case, comparing the two bottles of liquid that I had and later, opening the cap and attempted to draw on the table with it; which I managed to stop in time.

Couldn't really work with all the distractions around, especially with Edward constantly conjuring conversations from nowhere, resulting me in talking with him more than I can write anything. Recess ended and I slowly walked back to the building with Edward, feeling nothing but remorse for not accomplishing anything during recess. I went to Edward's class (located at the other end of the hallway from where my class was) before returning to class, like everyday after recess, totally forgetting that I had Mr. Samad (Add. Maths) after the bell. Spent about 10 minutes, chatting with Edward and taunting Fergie's London Bridge with his other classmates. Our conversation and laughs about the silly words in the song "Fergie, fer..." got cut short with Edward's teacher entering the class. I scurried off and made my way back to class in the now empty hallway (everyone had entered their class obediently).

I slid right through in class from the back door, silently as Mr. Samad had his back turned against the class. It gave me a second or two of relief that he didn't notice but hearing him calling out my name as I took out my books immediately distinguished the little flames of relief in me.

Mr. Samad: Come here!
Matt: Ermm... I'm sorry sir.
Mr. Samad: Late again! You think you can just waltz into my class 10 minutes late and hope to get away with it?
Matt: No, sir. Sorry, sir.
Mr. Samad: I have told you countless times not to be late for my class! This is not the first time. Come here (he gripped my shoulder and spun me around).
Matt: I... I...
Class: *smirking*

What did you expect? He hit me hard at my back and warned me about being late again. He gave the class the satisfaction of seeing me punished, though, I would've expected something more serious than this with the way he was talking to me like I've just commited crime. He didn't let me explain myself: not that I had any good reason and my brain just suddenly stopped functioning that I couldn't even think of a good lie. I guessed I deserved it anyway. It wasn't my first time that I entered the class casually when he was teaching - it took me a deal of a lie to get me out of trouble the last time! Didn't know what to say but to apologise profusely this time.

I returned to my seat, feeling oddly calmed, took out my books and settled down to his class. I call myself lucky that I didn't upset Mr. Samad more that day as I had the slightest difficulty in solving all his Add. Maths questions. I mean, the last time I forgot (honest!) to do his homework, he interrogated me in front of the whole class for no specific reasons! Clearly, he was mad at me alone for not completing his work, while the rest of the class didn't even touched his work since the beginning of the year!

That wasn't all of the worrying matters I had on my mind. It was as if having missed a whole week of school, being not able to finish any of the homework in time and walking into class on a cross Mr. Samad were bad enough, it happened to be Career Week. The school was having an exhibition of some sort to help students choose their career paths. All the fourth formers were required to be in the school hall on the 7th period. I packed my things and adjourned to the hall as soon as Mr. Samad stepped outside the class. I met Edward at the hall entrance and we lingered around the booths, collecting various brochures and phamplets offered by different universities and colleges. I read some of the bent and folded booklets (results of fanning myself in the crammed atmosphere) that were collected as Edward and I made our way through the crowd of over excited students and saw some interesting career paths if I wanted to pursue my studies in journalism.

Edward, on the other hand was contemplating a career in Mathematics and Statistics or whatever it is called. Somehow, the idea of marking examination papers, correcting mistakes and dealing with unscrupulous students appeal to him. He fancies to become a teacher, I suppose. We found an empty booth after walking round and round the hall, looking at the same people and brochures and sat down. I flipped through the brochures again, thinking about my future as Edward continue to fan himself with them. I sighed to myself, thinking about my studies...

After a few minutes of mere daydreaming, I noticed KY striding towards my direction. KY was the one who got me my post in the Interact Club earlier this term - couldn't thank him enough for that - and he seated himself comfortably onto a chair opposite of me and smiled widely. I glared at him until he spoke.

KY: How's your proposal coming along?
Matt: Huh? What? Oh... that...
KY: You've done everything haven't you?
Matt: Not really...
KY: Well, you'd better. Don't screw this up ok!?
Matt: I haven't even thought of what to propose yet!
KY: You could do something about recycling, kua...
Matt: Yeah, I was thinking of somehting like that too. Cause a gotong-royong just sounds plain and cheap, right?
KY: *nods in agreement*

I was glad he agreed. He continued to give me some suggestions about the proposal and by the end of our conversation, I felt slightly more confident in doing this. I told him to come online and give me some help if he could before we parted, totally forgetting (once again) that I had mass tonight. He was, by the way, my superior. I am just his assistant. This assignment, however, was given solely to me. Still, I guess he feels a little bit of responsibilty to help me through.

So here I am now, still can't seem to make up my mind of what to propose to the president for 'social work in school'. I don't have much time left to do this. I have to get ready for mass by 7 p.m.. After all, this IS a delayed work. So many questions that I need to ask now that I've actually started to prepare the paperwork. I'm not sure if I can get it done by today. *sighs* I still have loads of homework to attend to, a whole board of directors to face tomorrow for the proposal, a future to worry about, and a reminder that I should not be late for any of Mr. Samad's class in the near future.

Do you find school hard now?