Of Afternoons, Painful Teeth and Decisions.

Somehow, to be comparing THREE History essays to plain old blogging, I prefer the latter on this extremely warm and lazy afternoon. The rainy season looks like it's packing its bag to make way for the sun. Afternoon temperatures could get quite stressfull at my place, adding to the already very humid room of mine. It's almost impossible to get by my afternoons (dry) without the fan directly pointed towards me. My player's currently playing N'Sync - Bye Bye Bye. Definitely not helping me to cool down my afternoon, I know.

School's been pretty much a drag nowadays due to my lack of sleep. Could barely throw in any attention in class without closing my eyes. The heat hasn't been helping me much with trying to stay awake in class while my mind silently sneaks away into some other land before I find myself drooling all over the Maths textbook. My bioligical clock's pretty screwed up also. It's hard for me to sleep at night and I find myself daydreaming (most of the time) to the depths of an afternoon nap. Even reading Harry Potter (I'm still not done with it!) in broad daylight just means an afternoon filled with yawns and teary eyes. What else when it comes to History!

Other than that, pretty much nothing's happening.

Grace have been busy (still) packing. Which reminds me... We're all going down to KL this weekend. Family roadtrip to send Grace for university. Not sure where we're going to put up for the night, yet but I've got a feeling mom has contacted her friend to accomodate us for one night. Exciting? Not when you're sending your sister off to some unknown place for the next three years! Of course, things would be so much easier if I was the dominating type and I just can't wait for her to leave the house so that I can take over! Not me.

Another thing is, I've been chosen to represent the class for the Annual Inter-Class Public Speaking Competition. I've mentioned this before. I never did create an essay to prepare for this competition. I thought that the competition was going to be dropped off considering there wasn't any news or warning from Mr. Goh. He proved me wrong when he popped in into the class on Monday so suddenly that I almost fell off my chair that I was two-legging on, bringing the dreaded news. This time, it's different. I'm not even sure what you call this. We're supposed to only go up on stage and read a passage provided by the judges and be asked 2 questions. Save me the trouble of preparing my own speech and memorising it to only find myself staggering and stuttering on stage this Thursday!

The idea of reading in front of the whole 4th Form students isn't really comforting despite the fact that I've already gained enouh experience reading Sunday readings as a lector in church. The crowd is different. At church, I only read to the people interested in hearing the Word Of God. Here, I'm reading to a whole bunch of students who don't even give a shit about the passage but to the person reading it. Oh trust me, when I say they're going to judge me and make me the subject of ridicule for the rest of the term. I've always been a good judge of character. So far, it has never failed me - well, maybe once or twice down the road of judgement. =P. Still... I'm pretty sure it's going to happen. Why did I even volunteer in the first place?!

Being ridiculed and rejected have always been the two things that I never quite did handle well besides getting judge wrongly.

The only ticket out of this is to tell Mr. Goh that my teeth really hurts and as much as I want to do it, he'll have to get a substitute. It does. After my monthly dental check-up (to tighten the braces and check for improvements) last Sunday, the doctor made me wear a heinous pair of rubber band over my braces to straighten the position of my bottom jaw. I'm required to change a new pair everyday, which I'm facing difficulty of doing so every morning before I buckle my belt in front of the mirror. The rubber bands are the size of an ant and I'm supposed to pull it all the way round from my bottom wisdom tooth to the K-9 tooth and down to the bottom K-9. Yeah, you can almost hear the elasticity of the rubber stretching to hold my big mouth together.

My teeth as it is... restricted from talking.

It really restricts movements of my mouth. The farthest my mouth can open is to the extend that I can fit a only piece of paper in. Put it this way, my baby finger can't even fit in through the tiny opening between my top and bottom sets of teeth when I desperately try to open it, with the fear of the rubber band snapping and hitting the insides of my mouth! Piak. It definitely affects my speech and my pronounciation. I can neither yell or scream and I'm mostly speaking through gritted teeth. Think of over-exaggarated s and blurred speech - like through the buzzer. The only time I'm allowed to take this off is during meal time and when I'm brushing my teeth. The time taken to complete both activities have suddenly increased over the past few days. Even when the rubber band is lifted, my speech is still affected like 10% and I can't sing anymore! The mouth automatically pulls itself together everytime I try to open my mouth to imitate Mariah Carey!

So do you think I should just shut up and let someone else represent the class for the competition or should I just carry on without the rubber bands on Thursday? I'm really not fond of going under the spotlight. You know me, I'd rather sit in the stands and be a spectator than to steal the limelight and have everyone make fun of me!

This whole lack-of-confidence thing has got to stop! Urgh. As I've been told by someone, I still have to work on alot of my personal issues and attitudes. I'll leave that for next time, if I ever feel like saying anything. My speech in school and elsewhere have been reduced drastically since the beginning of the week. I just shut up most of the time unless I'm required to speak. Nobody could understand what I'm talking about even if I were to open my mouth.

Now, I've gotta get back to my History essays and ponder over the competition.

Christina Aguilera - Ain't No Other Man

Jack Jack Attack.

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Flickr!

I'm bummed . grrr. Literally. I feel like I've been cheated all these while. I'm sure it wasn't there when I signed up for Flickr last year! How could they do this?! How can I possibly afford Us dollars in the first place? Unless someone were to sponsor me. =P.

Considering that, I was thinking of looking up for a new site where I could upload and share my photos and get feedbacks and stuff like that, you know.

Save the search, I'll just create a photoblog here! I know there wouldn't be any comments or friends. At least it beats the hell out of LIMITATIONS! So, watch out for my photoblog! Don't know when I can even find the time to start one. *sighs*

What Have I Been Up To...

...been hooked up with Nelly Furtado's Loose.

...been changing the computer's style.

...been busy with Flickr till it stopped on me.

...been uplifting the face of my desktop.

...been upgrading my programs.

...been listening to alot of AOL Radio.

...and of course, blogging.

Saturday Night.

It's Friday night. The end of another long and tiring week. This was a really really long week. My weekend is filled with another pile of homework and assignments. Adding to my previous unfinished heap. I just got like, 2 inches of homework done of the previous pile. I don't know how in the world am I going to cope with this new pile of assignments and homework. *scratches head* Urgh. *pushes the pile to the side*

I spent my whole Friday afternoon, internet-surfing (again). It's so addictive. I get so absorbed into cyberspace once I start and it's kind of impossible to get my eyes off the bulky 17-inch, 3 month-old, monitor. As you can see, I've finally found a pretty neat way to upload music on the blog. But I've got to admit that the music's kind of annoying when you're a heavy music listener like me, who has the speakers turned on with songs for 24-7, cause it disrupts your music at a very undesirable time. I still like it. Spent half of my afternoon making changes to the blog. Maybe I was just suddenly inspired by MayaKirana's talk earlier today that I felt a sudden urge to upgrade my blog to a bearable state - the introduction was awful! I think it's better now. Let me know what you think.

Spent the rest of the afternoon editing pictures and uploading them onto Flickr, visiting DeviantArt, Wincustomize, Velocity Forums and checking my emails. I've stopped downloading stuff for the present moment, if you were ever wondering. Can't seem to find anything to download these days. *yawns*. I've been pretty busied with the new camera. I've been taking it down for daily evening walks around the housing area. It's slowly turning into a workout for me, cause I tend to sweat alot during these walks. My photo editing skills have been nothing but useless clicks of the mouse to desperately make the photos beautiful. I haven't installed Adobe Photoshop CS2 since my last computer breakdown. Never got the hang of it. I'm thinking of installing it after I get some really easy graphical guidebook on Photoshop CS2. Dummies just ain't working! My eyes are not trained for thousands of tiny words, printed in black and white on dull grey pages.

Anyways, as far as I know, the 23rd, 24th and 25th of June are days of clashing events. I've had my eyes on the Cheer 2006 event. It's held in Komtar Geodesic Dome on the 23rd and 24th of June. No sepcific reasons of me wanting so mcuh to be there, but I just wanted to get in with the crowd to see how it's like to be in one of these cheerleading events, despite the fact that the shots of the participating squads published in the newspapers don't impress me much. Part of it is also because of the camera. Another gaining experience for me if I was there. Besides, Soo Kui Jien's going to be there. At least get an autograph. =)

Other than a cheer event which I am not attending anymore to accomodate dad's schedule, there is also the Hotlink Football Beach Party tomorrow (Saturday) at Bayview Beach Resort. It's stated that it starts at 5pm but who knows when it'll end. Initially, I was going to invite Grace to come along with me to the events but since she got her schedule all filled up, trying to fit in all sorts of activities with her friends and colleagues before she actually leaves, leaving no time for her family, I'm just going to sit at home, curled up in my own little corner, reading the remaining pages of Harry Potter and the Order Of Phoenix. Mom offered to go with me to the beach party, but... I don't think it's a suitable place for her or any of my parents for that matter.

Once again, I'm living up to my title as the social loser. That's my life, huh?

The other event I know that's been going on is that Mac at Gurney Plaza is holding a sale for the three consecutive days that I've mentioned. Would love to go and have a look but I'm so broke. After the sudden purchase of a camera that costed near to RM2000, mom and dad are pretty much still in the lost of words when it comes to mentioning the price of the camera. Hey, we're not from a well-off family!

It looks to me I'll be spending my Saturday night listening to Nelly Furtado's latest album Loose or Teddy Geiger's Underage Thinking, sitted in front of the computer, reading June's copy of Digital Camera Magazine over and over again and maybe will continue with the Canon Powershot S3 IS manual that is still folded halfway through the little book, under my desk.

"Say It Write!"

Think of musty, old car seats with torn edges of the cushion and exposed yellow coloured sponge of an unkept school bus. Torn curtains and broken window sills that could easily take out the life of someone careless was hard not to miss with a RM120 rental fee. That was exactly the way it was in the old rented bus that brought us to KDU College, Penang Campus, in conjunction of the KDU's Literary day. As usual, I was urged by Mr. Goh to go and I happily accepted the offer (though, it included kicking someone out who was less interested).

I tagged along with the group, knowing nothing about what's going to happen there.

It turned out to be a short talk on four main subjects (blogging, story-writing, public speaking and literature) by various speakers to promote the English language itself, for students and collegians alike. It was technically, (only) an hour-long talk on the four different subject, divided into two theatres. I got myself into short story writing/narrative writing by Robert Raymer. I have a little bit about him printed on the back of the piece of paper I got when I got in the theatre but I wouldn't wanna post it here. Cause it would be classified as plagarism, then. =). If you know who he is, good. If you don't, he's been teaching Creative Writing at USM and had had his works published in various mediums.

There was a great number of turn up from schools all over Penang and there was insufficient sitting space in the theatre. I got to sit on one of the steps alongside the many discourteous students who had their butts glued to the seats that they were so reluctant to move (just a little bit) for newcomers to sit on the bench. Instead, they just stare blankly into space when they see an oncoming person (i.e. teachers) who needed a seat, until they are instructed to move. Maybe they're just overly-bashful to share seats with strangers?? Urgh! Teenagers nowadays! So bashful! I offered my seat to my Mrs. Saw at the sight of her standing and graciously sat on the stairs. I'm not praising myself, for crying out loud! It's basic courtesy and politeness that community lack off these days.

So, there I was, sitted quite uncomfortably on the top most cascading step, in the middle, with my BRATs notebook and a pen, eagerly waiting to hear what Mr. Raymer had got to say! It was some basic guidelines to guide one on starting to write narratively about their experiences. Frankly, nothing new to me (i'm not being complacent, it's just true!). But he did give some really good tips on writing one's experiences. The down part was that his voice projection through the microphone wasn't loud at all, resulting to people sitting at my distance, struggling to grasp trails of his sentences and some accentuated words. I did take down some useful notes.

But then, it seemed to me that I was the only one from my school who was actually paying attention and taking notes all the way. I guess they're just not as interested in writing as I am. They barely paid any attention. All they did was whisper in hush voices among themselves, throughout the whole hour. It was kind of a turn down point for them guys as the only girls who were there were either nerdy or geeky. Seriously, I don't understand them guys with their over-raging hormones. They talk about girls like they talk about cars! I just think it's plain rude for the women society to be treated like that by oversexed-up men.

Mr. Raymer ended his session by promoting one of his book entitled Lovers and Strangers Revisited which costed about RM25. I must say, the little promotion at the end made the whole session looked like a gimmick/hoax to publicise his work. Though, I'm pretty sure he doesn't need them. It just made me feel cheated into listening to his talk to purchase his book at the end. You know, like direct-sales? When the salesperson put you through a spledid presentation and sum it all up with an irresistable offer. That sucked.

The session was carried on by another speaker by the name of Krista Goon about blogging. Students who were uninterested in that area left immediately for another talk in the other theatre, leaving spaces to be occupied by blogging enthusiasts like me. I did follow my schoolmates to the third row of seats and settled myself there comfortably. There's also some background details about her printed at the back of the piece of paper I received earlier. Basically, she's the co-founder of Redbox Studio and she desings websites for companies for a living. Having the courage to come forward to a flood of strangers (and probably blogging dummies) to shine some light on the blogging, she must have the courage to show all of us her blog. Find more about her, if you wish!

I dutifully held my hand high up in the air when she asked, "How many people here, blog?", explaning a little about the term blog when she saw the open jaws of a number of people. Like a normal speaker who was given only an hour (or so) to speak on a particular subject, all she could do was to provide simple and basic guidelines to blogging. I didn't quite take alot of notes, except writing down all the addresses of the blogs she showed us. There was no time for in-depth explanation to blogging but what she said was, "If you wanna blog, make sure you remember that it's going to be public. So don't write anything that you might not want your mom to read about!". Another useful tip for blogging dummies was that, "Don't force yourself to write. Don't make a schedule for writing and deliberately try to make it daily. Write whenever you want!".

The most powerful thing she said throughout the session was, "Please do not abuse the English language when blogging. I know alot of teenagers like to use short forms, turning the word people into ppl. You don't do it because you have the right to do so! Blogging is free but there are still some rules that a blogger should not break. Please respect your readers and use simple, understandable English!". I it was indeed profoundly true when it comes to teenagers! I know, I've never taken the initiative to capitalise my sentences when I first started blogging, but still, I NEVER did use the "sms lingo"! Teenagers out there, if you wish to blog, please do it the right way! Don't do it all YOUR way, cause sometimes, your ways might be despicable.

I thought that she really gave a good talk and her message was really strong for bloggers. It was an honour to meet such a great blogger, in real life. I gathered up my courage, and timidly made my way through the flood of crowd who were pushing each other to make it to the exit, to greet her and have a word with her. She was as nice as she looked to be. Nothing personal, but she did eject some vibrant aura about herself. I gave her my blog address and surprisingly, she did visit! I mean, I really did not expect some high-profile blogger to pay attention to a plebeian blogger. Speaking through experience. Good to know that there are still some really nice people out there in the world.

I made my way into the crowd again and followed the other schoolmates to get on our old mutilated bus. I couldn't help but felt please about the entire visit to KDU. It was truly beneficial, for me. Not sure about the others. I headed my way to McD (as usual) after getting off the bus to wait for dad. Back to the flood of blue pinafores and ponytails in the busy environment of McD where schoolgirls and schoolboys potentially become attention seekers. Oh, grow up!

All Good Things (Come To An End).

"Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?"

Every good thing does come to an end. Here, when I was thinking to myself that Grace would probably still be here, begging me to go shopping with her with her next pay check, she's packing her bags for her studies. Literally. It was dumb of me to actually think that it'll last. At least, for a little while more. I thought she could still be here dictating me on my next algebraic equation. Now, all the supended equations that I was too lazy to even ask her would be left unanswered. *sighs*

Well, we got our prayers answered and she got her varsity application approved. The trip down to K.L. for that interview was worthwile, after all. Not to say I'm not happy for her, I seriously am glad that she gets to pursue her studies. Her sudden change of mood the past two days could easily give her off as OVERjoyed! She's leaving by the end of this month, which is in 2weeks time. She's happy, and I just feel lost. I find the thought of her leaving for varsity quite depressing (here I go again, all emotional again).

She's my sister isn't she?

She's also my best friend (how ironic!). Someone who I can easily turn to. Over the years of cat-fights and hair-pulling situations, we've grown to love each other like we've never loved anyone else before. Honestly, when I was eight, the thought of getting along with that old nasty witch was absolutely out of the question! The only thing we shared together was endless screaming and yells and of course, the same parents. I always see her as the person whom I can hate the most in the world. She was a disciplinarian (I think it's just in the blood), that's for sure. She used to make me do the dishes with a cane, standing by my side, as I did whatever she said helplessly while I tried to wipe off the tears trickling down into the dishes from my eyes. That was the nasty witch I was referring to! However, she really did knocked some basic kitchen skills into me till today (I can do dishes!)!

Due to unforseen circumstances, things started to change between us dramatically as we grew up. No more canes and yells. The catfights stopped and we could suddenly be singing along together to the tune of Britney Spears' Baby One More Time. That was one of the classical moments we had, eh? Thanks to her, I got to know about Backstreet Boys and Christina Auilera back then! Thinking back, I really do miss her. Wait, she's not even gone yet! LOL. Still, we learnt to love each other as brother and sister and by the time we were both officially teenagers, the bond between us was (and is still) really tight. She comes to me and I go to her for advices and stuff alike. She has always been the one that's been "taming" me and (actually) vice versa. Of course, we both have our own distinguishable weaknesses that we were constantly reminding each other about.

Most people are actually surprise to see the love we share between us both. C'mon, how many elder sister and younger brother relationship do you see that's not dysfunctional? We go out and we really stick together. "Wah, you're so close with your brother, Grace!" one can easily hear the other exclaim about our closeness. Growing up as Catholics too, we were brought up in a home with unconditional love. I guess we'll have to give credit to that also. Besides, mom and dad has always stressed on a strong bond between siblings. Now that we've grown so close to each other, it's kind of an understatement if I said I didn't mind her going at all.

Of course, putting up with a false smile while giving her a a warm tight bear hug, spluttering out the word, "Congratulations", while I deliberately fought back my tears, was hard enough. It's not my card to pull to say that I don't encourage her to go. Mom's as worried as I am, considering her history of changing boyfriends as aften as changing lipsticks! No, she's not a slut, if you were thinking of that! It was just in her teenage years that she thought boyfriends were the IN thing. LOL. Immaturity runs in the family too, I can say. KL isn't a very safe place to stay either, is it now? With endless numbers of crime reports each day spotted in the newspapers, mom was so close to refusing her the opportunity to pursue her studies in KL. Until dad stopped her from doing so, only she did returned to her normal self. The only thing I can do is pray that God protects her and guides her every move when she's living alone in the big, dangerous, city of KL!

The news of her varsity application approval didn't reached my ears firsthand. I was kind of pissed off about that, by the way. It was kind of hard to grasp the fact that she was leaving on the 30th of June to a 3-year long course on Linguistic in Universiti Malaya. It had an affect on me of some sort when I got the news from mom as she entered the car. I was on the verge of breaking down when I thought, quietly, to myself of the day she was leaving to venture into a whole new world of varsity life! Frankly, I DO have a heavy heart when it comes to her leaving the house. The last time she left the house was when she finished her SPM, to Perth to get some business knowledge with Aunt Teresa - she owns an acupunctre centre with her husband and earns a decent living in Perth. That took her about a month or so, I can't remember. That ws also a hard time for us. And now, she's leaving for three years! I'm beginning to miss her already!

Bah, three years sounds long when I out it THAT way! Mom says it's just going to be snap of a finger before we actually attend her convocation. LOL. Sharing the same feeling as I am about Grace's varsity life, mom's always thinking of picturusque futures. I'm sure she's going to make alot of trips back and we're going to make alot of trips there, right? Right? Right? *bites nails*. I've taken the liberty to draw up some new rules like, making an effort to always come back for someone's birthday and important occasions! She still needs her monthly dental check-up in Penang! Insurance of a meet every month! Am I being too selfish here? Don't think so. I'm keeping this to myself. Besides, I'm not restraining her from going!

I hope she mixes with the right crowd when she's there and I hope that we'll still be as close as we are now when she comes back. As much as I don't like the thought of her going, I still want her to go! It's for the best for everyone! She'll graduate and earn a good living and I'll just live off her! LOL. Just a little future-planning we used to do on our own, predicting our own future and how it's going to be like whe we're both grown-ups. How fast time flies when you're spending it with your loved ones. I still have an old picture of her, in her pretty littele red dress carrying me in her arms so joyfully!

Oh, I can't wait for the 3 years to come to an end! Life's definitely going to be really different when she's not around. Her bedroom's going to be empty, only akak's going to be occupying that room. I'm going to have to get used to spending lonely nights watching Grey's Anatomy or Desperate Housewives alone now. Until those 3years come to a an abrupt hault, I'm still asking myself with these questions.

Who am I going to point my Add. Maths questions to know?

Who am I going to turn to when trouble arises now?

Who am I going to share my food with now?

Who am I going to share gossips with?

Who is she going to turn to for fashion tips when she's living alone?

Who am I going to scream Delta Goodrem's song with?

Will she write to me like she used to when she was in Perth?

Who am I going to go shopping with now?

Who's going to spend the whole night staying up watching movies with me now?

I was also thinking of taking my motorbike license since I've already passed the legal age of bike-riding in this country. Now that Grace is going away, I'm immobilised completely! I guess the bike should compensate, huh? And yes, my title and introduction is from one of the titles of Nelly Furtado's songs in her latest album (Loose). It just sets the right mood for me to "celebrate" Grace's departure. OMG, I'm making it sound like she's dead or something! *smacks my own head*.

How I love my sister. =)

"Honestly what will become of me
I don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
We missed everything daydreaming"

A Durian Life.

As you can see, I've changed the blog title once more. This is my third second change of the blog title - if you don't consider the initial title (fanciful pretty little title entitled Me Myself and I) I came up with when I registered, a title at all! I figured that was an over-self-centred title so I changed it to It's Not Easy To Be Me (what? It felt right at THAT time!). That title lasted me pretty long didn't it? However, I sense childish-ness in that title, which absolutely does not refer well to my blog. I know I'm not THAT mature, yet, a change of title in occasion with a 16th birthday looks like a pretty good idea and tells of a coming of age. LOL. I know what you're thinking, "Oh please, 'It's A Durian Life' doesn't sound at all mature or masculine and it makes no sense!".

If this was true, I urge thee reader once again, to leave. As I always do to readers who simply disapproves off me me. This is my blog and I can do whatever I want, regardless of what you think off it! Pardon the bad pun. I just think it serves the reader as well as the writer (in this case, me) justice.

"But why 'It's A Durian Life' of all the comparisons in the world!" I hear thee reader ask! I'll try to explain and knock some sense into thee reader who does not understand me and considering the fact that there's an actual limit of 500 characters on the blog introduction column! Obviously, the title was driven by my love for durian and the starting of this year's durian season - a season when all local fruits like rambutans and mangosteens begins to ripe and are ready to be fed to the hungry human-vultures that have been waiting for a whole year! It came to me as an "inspiration" when I was having durian on my birthday while waiting for my distant-related-uncle to open the next durian, anticipated, wide-eyed and drooling. Before you continue reading, I warn you, this is all simply my intepretation of how things work in life and therefore are very objective. It's my perspective and the way I choose to see things.

The message came through to me that one will never know what is in the durian till one opens it. The durian experts could easily see the "type" or "flavour" by simply looking at a durian and its physical appearances but they're not necessarily correct all the time! Similar to life. We can never expect what life has to offer! It's so spontaneous (yes it is! It's only crazy people who make their life an all-planned living hell) and so full of surprises! We can always try our best to predict what will happen next but we're never all the time correct, unless you're psychic or something. But then, that'll make you crazy also! It also applies to the people we meet throughout our life. We are so used to judging a particular someone even before taking some time to know them better that it has become oblivious to us now! I do that too. At times, I judge people by their actions and physical appearances, but I usually keep it on the down-low. Again, we will not necessarily be an excellent judge of character ALL the time! Not until we open up that durian and have a taste out of it.

Any experienced durian lover can easily tell you that worm-infested durians are always the best durians! Theory is, the worms have good taste and only go for quality durians. We're talking about big, fat, juicy worms here! Personally, I've never tried worm-infested durians (only the good side of the durian) but both grandmothers have always offered, with an outstretched arm holding the cutout shell and the other arm with the bits of the infested durian peeled out, saying that it tastes good! I have not the guts to even go near them! I'll usually opt for the healhtier looking ones, with a heavenly smell and bright yellow for colours. I certainly am no durian expert, despite the fact that I've been eating them for the past 16 years of my life! I only consider the colour and the smell before picking it up with my 5 stubby fingers and putting it into my mouth after having a pinch out of it. Usually, it's mom who does all the judgement before saying, "Matt, this is good type one! Eat this!"

Life experiences are also the same with the case of eating durians. We can come across such horrible events in our life that it hurts to even think about it. Yet, we still can come across such happy events in life that could easily bring tears of joy into our eyes, when we think about it! For instance, deaths and newborns. Events that are inevitable in the normal human life. It could bring so much joy and so much pain to us! Like it or not, we'll have to come face to face with it sooner or later. It's just a matter of time. When crucial situations surfaces, we are use to breaking down and giving up, usually complaining about how bad life is! What about those happy moments that we had? Have you ever stopped and thank God for a minute when you're having so much fun during the last holiday trip to Australia? Without the good and the bad events to balance, we will never learn how to appreciate the good times. Seriously, the only reason why I think we come across bad events, is to remind us of the good times we had and to help us learn how to appreciate it. One thing's for sure, we are bound to come across worm-infested durians.

Living a durian life is certainly not a a glamorous one. Like durians, hanging on the branches of the tree is just temporary. No matter how careful we can be, we still fall and fail (sometimes). We can never decide to just hang on one spot and feel safe all the time! Life's just simply not like that! It's all about coming down-to-earth, descending with humility and taking chances. If you decide to hang on the tree, then be my guest. Cause one day, you'll still fall flat on your butt! =P.

Another thing about durians is that they are not exceptional when it comes to competition. It still goes through the same processes of life to strive for food from the mother tree. They're also some breeds that are put into an actual competition to compete in their qualities and essence! Thus, like the human pageant! LOL. Reality is, the life out there, too, are filled with challenges and competitions! It's actually a survival-of-the-fittest world out there! It's scary to see (till what great extents) what humans can do to survive in the harsh world where everyone is constantly competing for power and money. While we are caught up in the never-ending search for power and money, let's pause every once in a while to be thankful of what we have and give those people who are less fortunate a thought. That's life, baby! No one ever said it was easy! Everyday is a challenge! Living life itself is a challenge!

Durians are generally nicknamed the 'King of the Fruits' with its mighty physical appearance and the strong smell it emits! Like a durian, we can all be liked and be disliked at the same time! Some people (mostly Westerners) despise the fruit and fringe at the smell of it, while Asians like me, couldn't possibly think of a world without durian! Like durians, people can hate us with all their heart but you'll be surprised to know the amount of people that actually loves you! That's what I call family. Wherever we go, no matter what we do, whatever effects it may have on the people around us, a family will always love us unconditionally like someone who loves his durians! We will always come crawling back to our origins when shit happens beyond our expectations! For the people who hate us, well, that's just too bad for them. But in my case, Grace dislikes durians just because she's afraid of the effects of durian consumption.

We're all special and unique in our own ways like all the durians out there! Each, moulded so carefully by the Creator to be brought into this world to do good to mankind. Until the day I benefit the community, I realise that my blog introduction still needs a little work and that I'm going to have to cut down durian consumption this season as I'm already on the obese side on the BMI chart. *sighs*. Living a durian life is not easy after all.

A durian life : Durians are an aphrodisiac! =P

Ordeal In School.

4th day into the beginning of a new semester, I've already been bombarded by a gigantic amount of workload! Seriously, a mountainous heap of homework and assignments in just FOUR days! Ain't no mountain high enough, I say! I have no idea how much the amount escalated until I came back today and tried to finish some and got so discouraged when I gathered them all up. Frankly, there are still homework and assignments that were procrastinated and carried from the previous semester, adding to the amount I already have to deal with. The new principal has done it. He's dominating the whole school and changing it to an educational boot camp!

My dislikeness towards him has been escalating too since the beginning of the new semester. Secretly throwing curses at him at the very sight of him - with his ridiculously combed hair and his obtrusive glasses, worn at such a way that middle of the glasses rests at the tip of his nose making his eyes overlook the glasses, with his tiny little moustache covering his upper lip - everytime he decides takes a stroll in our hallways, trying to check on our behaviour and attitude. Oh, he is such a pompous ass! The school is in dire need of a more jovial and friendlier principal! I wonder how can the teachers put up with his sickly arrogance and his ego! I'll smack him in the face if I could!

That is so not me...

The re-shuffled timetable has taken its effect on us - with puffier and heavier schoolbags, causing us to either slouch to support the weight of the bag or to be pulled backwards, giving in to the weight of the bag! The extended time schedule has been making school feel like it lasts forever, every single day! Time seems to be crawling as slowly as a grandmother snail during school hours. Hence, resulting to more daydreaming and droopy eyes in class, especially the last two hours before you actually hear the delightful ring of the school bell.

Eventually, I've finally got all my results for the first term examinations and it has never been this horrible before! There's no chance of me trying to post them here but I can say that it's the worse of the worse in the history of examinations! Never had so many failed subjects before! I realise what I've done wrong this semester and it's up to me to change it this second term. The question is, can I? Can I gather myself up for this upcoming exam? It's depressing to even give it a thought. But... I've been diligently (thankfully, I can say) trying my best to complete my work lately. I definitely don't burn midnight lamps and stuff like that but I do have some (sudden) certain inclination towards fulfilling the "responsibility of a student".

Maybe I'm just driven by the new camera. Feeling a need to make the parents happy once in a while with good results. Big possibility there.

Back to re-shuffled timetables and messed up school hours. The timetable's been a real pain in the neck for me. Despiteful subjects - Add. Maths and Maths top the list - are spread out throughout the whole week! We have Maths, B.M. and Add. Maths for four consecutive days for the rest of the remaining semester! Those subjects require alot of mind-wrenching thinking, which I am absolutely incapable of if it's to be continuous! LOL. Not so true... but it can be tiring (not to mention, nerve-wrecking) seeing the amount of homework Mr. Samad and Mr. Khor throw at us by the end of the week. Lessons are being cut to only one period when the subjects are spread out like this, instead of the old fashioned two periods. It gets rather annoying when you see a person too many times in a week, especially when you don't exactly favour that person.

The only thing that makes my days going to school feel worth it is English. English, like all the other unlucky subjects, received the same fate of being shredded into tiny pieces throughout the week. It's the ONLY bright side for me. English seems to be the only enjoyable subject for me. Not exactly enjoyable, but at least, understandable. Mr. Goh is by far one of the friendliest and sociable teacher I've ever known. There's no pressure or tension when you're around him. He communicates with his students and reaches through to them in a more effective way. Still, he could be a little over-relaxing sometimes when it comes to studies. Other than that, he makes the day seem brighter, teaching English.

The extended time schedule has also taken a toll on the students as well, with the complains of hunger at the time when it was previously our recess. It's just ludicrous to extend every single period in the timetable except for the recess - it still remains as half an hour only. It's kind of harsh on the students, don't you think?? Mr. Rani says that the principal doesn't want the time (school dismisses) to differ too much from the previous one! Is he CRAZY?! AN EXTRA OF 40MINUTES EVERYDAY IS NOT A BIGG DIFFERENCE?! I think that's such a lame excuse for a cover-up of his evil plan into morphing all of us into his secret bald-headed army to work for him in the future plans to take over the world! *evil laugh*

I sound crazy. The school is to be blame for wrecking my brains! Now it's all in a jumble mess of clogged networks, dysfunctioning all my abilty to do anything, besides typing.

Crazy again.

I strongly doubt that I'm the only one who finds all these a bull. I do hear teachers themselves complain about the extra long hours at work with each occasional visit to the staff room and one can easily spot the gloomy faces on teachers these days. The teachers also seemed to have developed a level of animosity among with the students due to their stress at work, I assume. *sighs*. I'm sure our parents didn't have to go through this ordeal during their time of schooling. I bet the school then was better off run by the British during the British Occupation. Not that I have anything against my own country, but I think that the education system in Malaysia could use a little sprucing up, that's all.