How's School?

Finally, my Add. Maths book got collected by Mr. Samad (Add. Maths teacher) after such a long time. It wasn't completed though. Couldn't manage. Wait. Was it couldn't manage or didn't manage? =P. Oh, what does it matter. A burden off of my back. Ms. Chee (Accounts teacher) was also quite generous to not give us any homework today. Wait till I mention Mrs. Tan. She was also as generous as Ms. Chee to let us slip through this weekend without one of her History Essays! The only work I have to complete now is Science. Just a few petty stuff.

I guess I pretty much needed this weekend off. I'm so dying to take a break. I wouldn't say a much deserved break but still, I'm going to lose my mind if I continue going to school this very second. A break is all I need. Away from the books. Away from home. At the beach, lying on the deck chair, reading Catherine Lim's "Unhurried Thoughts At My Funeral" or even better, start on my Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince while listening to the crashing waves under the beach umbrella with fresh honey dew juice - refilled every hour - at the reach of my hand. Going scuba diving with the fishes in the crystal clear, deep blue sea (it's very hard to get this in Penang). Something relaxing and not energy consuming, you know. I'd prefer Redang Island, Tioman Island or maybe Phuket Island! Some place quite, serene, peaceful and refreshing. Ahhh, my ultimate escapade, getaway, holiday!

Ahh... The perfect getaway...

Oh, what the hell, I can't even afford my own food! Bah! At least it's worth the imagination. Oh, how I wish I was making an earning now. Back to school. I'm happy to say that school has become another daily routine in my boring life, again. It's already been about half a term. I'm happy that it's a routine and at least I can feel a little bit of obligation to attend it. If it wasn't, I'll honestly tell you that I can't pretend to be all happy and excited on my feet every single day when I wake up at the call of akak. I'll probably be registered as a patient under Tanjung Rambutan or rather known as Hospital Bahagia by now.

Another thing happened sometime around this week was that I was chosen to represent the my class for the Annual Inter-Class Public Speaking Competition held by the school this year. We were chosen through our oral tests. It's sort of a show-and-tell where one has to go up to the whole class and present a speech about basically anything excluding of any topis regarding of sex, religion and race. In a class full of Malays and 2 Chineses (who basically don't bother about all this nonsense), who else is there to pick? I'm not boasting that I'm good cause I know myself and I can say that I'm not even half as good as anyone else. Let's just say, I'm best among the worst. For the past 3years in my schooling life, I've never been chose, and now, I am! You do the math.

Mr. Goh (English teacher) came up to my side while I was busy working on my Maths questions in class, not paying the slightest attention to whoever it was that was in front of the class presenting his speech. I'm not sure what was the secrecy and whispering about, but I had to take it. I've learnt from many events when I am chosen for something honourable or for something that someone thinks I can do well with to only cowardly reject it. I was lacked of confidence, then. Not quite sure I'm filled with it now also. Knowing better in the past couple of years when I went, "Oh, that should've been me! I'd definitely do better!", I can't say no to an offer as such. Mostly, obligingly and due to personal values/reasons. I'd never wanna go, "Oh, it should've been me, up there!," again. That feeling sucks.

Mr. Goh : I wan't you to represent your class for the public speaking competition.
Matt : Huh? What? Umm... when is it?
Mr. Goh : I'm not notified myself. I just want you to write an essay and let me read through it.
Matt : (silent for a while) Ok, I guess (reluctantly).
Mr. Goh : Write something to do with teenagers or maybe the internet or whatever you think can make a "pow!" to the audience.
Matt : (nods).
Mr. Goh : You can still take your sweet time.
Matt : (nods)

I wasn't sure myself of what to write. Nothing came to my mind. It seems so easy for me to write about something that's not constricted with a certain format or with a certain title. In short, it's so easy for me to blog. When it comes to preparing a speech or an essay, I find it to be the most difficult (and I come up with all sorts of reasons). Until now, I still haven't come up with a suitable title. I tried withdrawing myself from the competition at first with my reluctant-ness but my senses came to my rescue and the thought of sitting in the audience looking up at the should-be-me on stage came crushing down on me like the WTC and prevented me from saying NO.

Matt : If I can't do it, is there any substitue then?
Mr. Goh : I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for you.
Matt : No substitute?
Mr. Goh : The reason I picked you is that the other classes could feel threatened by your participation in the competition. And who knows, you might win something for your class which, as the both both of us know, had had a long list of bad achievements in the past years.
Matt : (Yeah, like that's gonna happen. Who's threatened by me?) Ok then, I'll try my best.

And now, I'm all so worried about it. You know me, I get worried over small little stuff that need not be worried. But I can't help it. It's in the blood.

I've also just receieved the timetable for the first sememster examinations today. 8 freaking long days! Another thing to add on my worry list. The thing about me is, I get worried, but I don't take any action. LOL. I'm supposed to change, I know. I guess I won't be having this weekend a free one after all.

How come school doesn't seem so complicated in the eyes of adults?